Crumbles

Cake on the plate.
A peaceful break to sit
with the cake on the plate.
To break sweet bread and share a cup of tea
with friends.
Crumbs will fall.

Maybe on this day I will bake an orange loaf
and give it to my neighbor.
Maybe I will clean my office.
Maybe I will wet the beet pulp pellets for my horses.
The pellets will fall apart under hydration.

Oh, I know I will take feed to my horses.
Their hayful life is good keeping.
What to give away, what to keep?
I ponder this question.

I saw one friend disintegrate,
passed out and found,
passed around and lost.
Another friend seemed to slowly remove
bits and pieces of herself
until she was gone.

Once, when I was ten, a teacher asked the class
how we wanted to die.
Maybe this was an odd thing to do.
Maybe it was brave.
I said I wanted to be there and children laughed.

Of course I would be there,
but I wanted be aware, to participate in the moment,
to bring my curiosity.
How much do we get to choose?

My plan for today:
Make the cake.
Take the horse on a walk. Hoofprints will follow in the sandy soil.
Share thoughts and cookies with my friends.
The crumbs fall away like blessings.



I’ve not been riding.

Woodshed*

I’ve not been writing.
Yesterday I blew a few barely graceful notes
on my flute.
There were lights to hang and my son could use a hand.
So I lent him mine.
This melancholy isn’t mine.
It’s ours.
We all see it.
I let it walk with me.
It keeps me out of the saddle because of a choice I made.
Our hospital beds are nearly full.
Two short months have passed at our new barn.
Though I’ve taken a ride here and there
the chance of a strong spook
from a horse
or a loss of balance
on my part
is greater now.
We are all out of practice.

Truth be told
I like the peace.

*”Woodshedding” is a term commonly used by musicians to mean rehearsing a difficult passage repeatedly until it can be performed flawlessly. The term is used metaphorically where “the woodshed” means any private place to practice without being heard by anyone else. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodshedding#:~:text=%22Woodshedding%22%20is%20a%20term%20commonly,being%20heard%20by%20anyone%20else.